The World Would Be Better Place if Santa Wore Lycra

“Jolly old soul.” Bahhh Humbug. These days, the world could benefit if America’s favorite holiday icon was trim enough to sport some lycra. With childhood obesity considered to be at epidemic levels, do we really need a “jolly old soul” who is overweight and probably very out of shape? Would we think a little differently about fitness throughout the year if we new that Santa was planning to give the reindeer a break and ride a bike for next year’s delivery instead of his sled?

Apparently, Mr. Clause has been getting pressure from all sides recently.  On the health front, especially, it is reported by insiders that Mrs. Clause has been pushing Santa hard.  One elf, that asked to remain anonymous, said:

Clearly he have to consider if shaking like a bowl full if jelly is still the right image to portray to our children.  But it is also a lot more personal than that for the boss.  Even though he is immortal, heart attacks still hurt like hot cocoa in the lap.  And Santa’s cholesterol numbers have been through the roof lately.

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